To the Dregs and Back Again

Jian Wei and I went to see his ultimate man crush Wavves perform an intimate gig at Rough Trade East on hipster's paradise Brick Lane just two days before the little rascal pulled an immense diva-strop and cancelled his entire European tour. Click here for more. The miniature monster was demonstrating disinterest and withdrawal symptomatic of his impending meltdown when the pair of us lagged behind to say a friendly 'hallo' after the gig. Despite displeasing the little fellow immensely with our dry English humour and buffoon-like manipulation of manual cameras, we did manage to obtain a picture of Nathan with his drummer in what is now a Halcyon past following the latter's pouring of beer over the former's head midst on-stage chaos and total band disintergration.

For me, however, highlights of the day included the discovery of a black and white photobooth which produced four DIFFERENT images for £3 as opposed to standard passport machines which produce four identical images for £4 whilst rendering you aesthetically hideous plus the friendly cafe staff who crafted smily-faced images in the foam of our coffees.

Insania

Ok, so after approximately six days of being the most disgusting, slovenly individual on the face of the planet and only leaving the flat once, I have finally decided to knuckle down to some long overdue revision for my 'Textual Communities' exam.

I began by accessing the links to past papers that had been festering in my university inbox for at least two weeks, deliberately ignored in the hope they'd simply trickle away if avoided for long enough.

Alas! No. In fact, the words of Tony Lee, 'is this some kind of joke?', were inescapable as I surveyed the boundless impossibilities of what the vaguest, most inpenetrable module had to offer me in terms of 'assessment'. Here, in the hope of prompting immense sympathy from my readership, or at least inciting mockery for my faculty, I have listed some of the most ridiculous questions that I am going to be expected to write on for two hours in order to make up sixty percent of my modular marks.

Please bear in mind that the reading list for this course was clearly contrived by either a madman or someone absolutely ripping the piss. Why not also consider how you would incorporate just one of the following 'texts' into answering ANY of the questions: 'The Complete Maus', Art Spiegelman (graphic novel), 'Persepolis', Marjane Satrapi (graphic novel), 'Boethius' (Roman elegy later translated into Anglo Saxon verse then prose), 'Schindler's List' (film by Spielberg), 'The Rime of the Ancient mariner', Samuel Taylor Coleridge (poem), '253', Geoff Ryman (novel by lecturer at the Uni, a-hah.), some history on Medieval copying and binding of books and finally 'Inferno', Dante (scary stuff involving a cone-shaped Hell and interfamilial cannibalism.)

Right, so just imagine turning over the exam paper to unveil the following beauts:

1) 'If there are twenty-five poems in a book, the book itself ought to be the twenty-sixth poem'. (Robert Frost). Discuss this statement with reference to AT LEAST ONE text.

2) 'There are no such things as "texts", only "work". Discuss with reference to the texts/works of AT LEAST TWO authors.

3) Using ONE OR MORE texts that you have read, discuss the ways in which the text itself constructs or defines its intended audience.

4) 'There is no such thing as a theory of a work' (Foucault). With reference to AT LEAST ONE text discuss the problems surrounding the identification or definition of a 'work'.

5) 'Once the Author is removed, the claim to decipher a text becomes quite futile' (Barthes). Discuss this statement with reference to AT LEAST ONE text.

I don't even know how to attempt revision.

Eek!

Grass

It would appear as though Animal Collective ambushed me at some point over the past couple of months and have stealthily bludgeoned all my former 'most listened to' bands into a whimpering submission. Despite not formally owning any of their albums I've managed to cobble myself together a collection of singles and remixes from the likes of The Hype Machine and Limewire and can quite assuredly say that 'Grass' is, without a doubt, going to be the soundtrack to my summer. I love the subtle nuances of colour in the video too. Especially the beige...

Living For The Written Word

The City Dweller.

The tree outside the window appears to have died
in childbirth. It stands alone in its non-verdance,
mocked by the urban jungle’s fecundity.
The phloem do not flow with amniotic fluid so the bald leaves cluster,
rumpled, prematurely. The tree outside the window yearns
for incubation, as stomata, choked with soot, gasp
for monoxide. The roots that once tickled
the undersides of buildings, lactate cement.
A simulated pregnancy gestating on a slab,
this road will ingest it, making it backward born.

(Today I found out that I was successful in my application for next year's Creative Writing: Poetry module. The course is provided by Manchester's Centre of New Creative Writing, notorious for being whipped by Martin Amis, and will entail 'workshopping' our fledgling poems and producing a portfolio at the end of the year. I'm so happy! I'd never written a poem before I learned of the requirement to submit two to three pieces of original work in order to be considered suitable for the progamme and so I was really taken aback when I found out I'd secured myself a place. I can imagine that it's going to be really intimidating listening to a class of sixteen analyse my 'poems' and I'm sure I'll be extremely self-conscious and that there'll be blushes all round but at the same time I'm so looking forward to a break in my critical theory dominated schedule and the chance to do something vaguely creative.)

My Little Holganisms

The Perfect Denim Dress

Should I treat myself? Help me decide.

Learning To Love You More

The Early Worm Catches All The Birds

Today I debuted my baby, 'The Sweetest Vintage Clothing Company', at the University of Manchester's Student Union market and spent the entire day eating fondant fancies and houmous whilst gossiping with friends and making lots of benjamins. The ethos of my little venture is to hand-pick particularly adorable finds from charity shops, attics and car-boot sales and sell them on at extremely reasonable, student-friendly prices in a form of eclectic travelling boutique. I was absolutely delighted to be left with a barren stall at the end of the day and am excitedly anticipating the prospect of spotting students flaunting their Sweetest Vintage around campus. Eee! I am aiming to trade again at the SU on Tuesday, 19th May and, although the thought of restocking in the midst of exams is enough to turn my hair white, I look forward to spreading a little bit joy via the medium of vintage retail once again. Watch this space.

And now, I am proud to present you with my first ever 'photo blog'; in homage to all my pals who helped out and supported the venture and a brief celebration of the time capsule-like properties of the defunct Manchester Academy 2.